


Ellia NO

by weirdy_w0nd3r



Category: The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Disassociation, Don’t read this, Graphic Description, JUST, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Why is that a tag damn, graphic depictions of gore, happenance au: the aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:00:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25442059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weirdy_w0nd3r/pseuds/weirdy_w0nd3r
Summary: Listen this is literally a crack fic but the second chapter is gonna be like a huge tw so be careful
Comments: 3
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

They had come there with one goal: find Elia and get out. It was going well in the beginning, they had gotten in to the compound no problem, he found her, and they had an easy escape plan. It was convincing her to leave that was posing to be a problem. 

“Where the stars have you been?” She hissed, dragging him down by his collar. 

“I got dragged on a private mission, that’s not why I’m here tho Ell, I need you to-“ he tries, very hard considering, to explain. 

“How did you even get here they’re gonna have your head!” 

“Keep your voice down,” he scolds, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder. The troopers are gone but they can only play rookie for so long. “Listen I had help, but if we’re going to get you out we have to do it now.” 

“You’re getting me out of here? How the hell are you gonna do that. Not that I don’t trust you I do but well, you’re you.” 

He sighs, standing again, “help didn’t go anywhere.” 

“Oh right that.” She bounces on her feet following him up, clasping her hands together. “Yeah I don’t know about that.” 

“Ellia what do you mean, we have to,” Pershing groans into his hand. Deep breaths, she just needs a moment. They don’t have a moment. “We need to go now, you’ll have to ask questions later.” 

Her nose scrunches with her confusion. “One problem ha, you see I’m not allowed to leave,” she insists, as if he had missed something. 

They messed things up just guide her through to. 

“Yes, I’m breaking you out because you don’t want to be here.” Pershing reminds her, glancing at the communicator. 

“Right. I wanna find a home,” her eyes finally light up with recognition. “And I’m gonna share it with you.” 

It’s a spark he had missed dearly. “Right, so let’s go.” 

From there they follow the plan. Navigate the halls, pass the troopers (while knocking out as few as possible,) and through the wall hatch. It’s a little too easy, and it leaves Pershing on edge. Still they manage to make it out and to the ship. Din is waiting outside of it, he waves them down when they finally come into view. 

It’s not the razorcrest, the ship got crowded fast. It’s one that the mandalorian had borrowed from a mechanic. It’s larger, but still discrete. No imperial markings, nothing that would set off sensors. Just enough to fly them across the galaxy. 

“This is Ellia?” He gestures in her direction, earning a chipper wave and a sharp toothed smile. 

“Yes, we can go now.” 

They follow him back into the ship and wait in the hold for it to take off again. Ellia is slow to settle down. She wanders, pacing and muttering and digging her nails into her sleeve. The others seem concerned, and for a brief moment Ivana looks like she wants to comfort the girl. 

Pershing has to reassure her several times that they’re safe, and the others that she just needs a minute to settle in. “It takes a second, for things to click you know, since they disciplined her. Just give her a minute she’ll be alright.” 

It doesn’t ease the concern etched into Chris’s face, but he only watches from afar. Soon enough they’re on their way to a neutral planet where their safe house is and Ellia does settle down. Well, from the stress that is. 

Chris introduces himself after some gentle persuasion from Pershing. Slowly, he sinks to kneel in front of where she’s sitting in the ground, offering a hand. “Hey, you alright there?” And he smiles. It’s a concerned smile, one you would give a child who doesn’t quite have the right idea, but it’s still warm. Safe. 

Ellia nods, grasping his arm rather than his hand and shaking softly. “It’s new. That’s all.” 

“I know, you’ll be alright though,” he shifts to sit down instead, leaning against the wall for support. “You’re a friend of Peri’s, right?” 

She nods again. “I take it so are you?” 

“For a while now yeah,” Chris chuckles, only to be cut off by a cough. He brushes it off but the curious look in Ellia’s eye lingers. 

They leave the galaxy with little interference, which means luckily the imps hadn’t caught their scent. But Ellia doesn’t drop the incident. A standard hour or so in she sits herself next to Chris again and starts to ask questions. She pays no mind to the stumbling, or the way he grasps Ivana’s hand too tightly. 

Pershing tries to sway her, to convince her to drop it, but something set in and she just won’t let go. 

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” She asks, ears twitching to face outwards. He makes a small noise of confirmation, spurring her on. “What kind of sick, I’m a doctor maybe I can help.” 

“Ellia, no,” Pershing scolds quietly from where he sits. It’s the first time he’s looked up from his notebooks since they boarded. 

If Chris isn’t willing to share he doesn’t show it, just runs his thumb over Ivana’s wedding band again. “It’s alright, Peri you said you hadn’t seen something like this before she probably hasn’t either.” He tried to ease the man with a small nod but he still looks concerned as he goes back to his notes. 

Ellia watches him closely, waiting far too eagerly for his explanation. And he does explain, in as much detail as he can manage. He answers her questions and assured her that, no, they can’t do anything. Tells her it’s killing him. And then he tells her it’s okay. 

“It’s not though, you won’t be okay soon,” she insists, eyes narrowed on his hands, “nothing about it is okay.” 

“That’s just, that’s just how this kind of thing works.” 

The sentiment provides her no comfort. For the rest of their travel she’s quiet, sitting to the side scowling and researching on her data pad and not looking anyone in the eye. 

All they can do is watch. 


	2. Chapter 2

When the ship finally lands on ground again it’s a great relief. The tension inside melts the moment the doors open. Ellia perks up, Pershing takes a deep breath, even Pedro finally relaxes his tense muscles. They unload and usher everyone inside, spending the first few hours getting set up to stay. 

Ellia looks less distressed, focusing on helping Din move things inside. Pershing wants to ask her about before but never quite gets the chance. He does, however, stop and talk to Chris. The man assured him that it was alright, albeit a little uncomfortable. He brushes off the many apologies. “I was just helping it click, that’s all.” 

Eventually their luck breaks through in the form of a cursing mandalorian covered in dust and oil. Pedro rushes outside with Pershing not far behind. 

“What happened?” 

“There May be something wrong with the ship.” 

“No shit!” 

Despite it all though, they managed to remain calm enough to get together the supplies they would need to fix it. Ellia insists on helping, and what they had anticipated would be more carrying of supplies turned into her crawling under the ship to get a better angle of what they were working on. 

Pershing comes in to check on her, tying his jacket around his waist. “You alright down there? Need anything?” 

“Nope!” She pops out not from under the ship but one of the side panels, hanging upside down, “thank you though.” 

It earns a laugh at the pure absurdity, “alright, well let me know if you do it won’t be hot for too much longer but I don’t want you to overheat.” 

“I’m not going to overheat Peri,” She chides, sliding back into the ship’s mechanisms. “Actually hand me a wrench.” 

Her hand comes out, palm open expectantly. He places the metal into it gently, earning a thumbs up before it disappears again. “Since when do you know anything about engineering anyway?” 

“Since the empire was severely understaffed, here,” the hand emerges again, this time covered in grease. He takes the tool back. 

“You know I’m not gonna overheat, but you might!” Ellia calls out, voice echoing against the metal frame in a way it hadn’t before.

“Why’s that?” 

“Have you seen your face? I mean you did always have a thing for pretty boys who would never be as smart as you.” 

“Ellia stop,” he scolds, surely flushing to further prove her point. And the stars above must have been against him that day because someone clears their throat behind them, catching his attention. 

Ellia emerges from the ship, still upside down, to see Chris standing in the doorway with his arms crossed tightly over himself. Samantha wasn’t far behind and waved as Ellia pushes herself out to stand next to him. 

“Din said you guys should come inside. It’s gonna be dark soon,” Samantha says, coming over to pick up some of the tools. “I’ll help you guys clean up.” 

Pershing is fairly sure there’s more tools in the casing of the ship than in their toolbox, but decides it’s not the hill to die on tonight. Ellia claims the shower before they’ve even got everything inside, darting past Chris with a smile. 

And, with Samantha inside, Pershing stops Chris before he can join them. “I’m sorry, about Ellia about earlier.” 

“You already apologized, it’s alright,” Chris insists, turning again to head indoors. 

Pershing persists though, grabbing his arm to stop him. “I mean it, she was out of line. I plan to talk to her about it but I wanted to be sure she didn’t make you too uncomfortable.” 

He stands there quietly for a moment, studying the doctor’s face, then he sighs. “She doesn’t like feeling useless does she? Not being able to help?” It’s a completely reasonable assumption to make as well. 

She had gotten uncomfortable when they insisted there was no way to fix his sickness, she heaved boxes she wasn’t fit to carry, she crawled inside of a broken ship. He wasn’t wrong. 

“She’s... It’s conditioning but that’s not important, still she shouldn’t have pushed.” 

“I’ll be okay. She’s your friend, I trust she has good intentions.” 

Pershing doesn’t bring it up again, but he’s no more comfortable that evening until Ellia comes out of the shower. He steps into the other room to talk to her while everyone else settles in. 

They come back out to find everything has been moved, Sam and Pedro’s idea. There are blankets across the ground, pillows strewn about, and a fire started. More surprisingly though, is that everyone seems to be getting along. Ellia is quick to join them, spreading out on one of the blankets to enjoy the heat. Pershing however, stands to watch for a while. 

Din is on the couch, seemingly already asleep. He’s taken off his armor save from the helmet and changed into more comfortable clothing. Pedro and Ivana are sitting with the child, discussing something quietly while the little one plays between them. Chris is leaned against the couch and just close enough that he can still feel the fire. He can’t help but notice just how tired the man looks. 

“I don’t know what these are but they look like snacks so I’m eating them,” Samantha comes in from the kitchenette, holding two bowls. She seems so much more comfortable too. 

It feels like the quiet nights with movies in the dark again. The warm feeling in his gut crawls up until he’s smiling and he finally decides to join them. It’s too easy to plop himself between them. To pull one of the blankets up over his shoulder. To lean back and pretend that nothing had changed at all. 

For a minute everything is perfect 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey huge trigger warning for this chapter! There’s graphic content, explicit gore, and noncon.

So then how, how had everything gone so horribly wrong so fast. 

The morning had been surprisingly slow. Pershing woke up to find Ivana and Chris chatting over breakfast while Din and Pedro discussed what to do about the ship. Apparently Sam was still asleep, but Ellia was nowhere to be found. 

“She said she was going to look for something in town, I figured she’d be fine,” Din had told him. It seemed that way, so he set about doing what he could to get the ship back in order. 

When she came back later that day it had seemed fine. She dropped her satchel next to the door with the small clanking of glass vials and ate what was left of breakfast. Pershing stayed outside to help, they were nearly done it would only go faster with more hands. 

Then evening came and they agreed it would be wise to head and get some actual food from the market. Din left with the ship to make arrangements with someone for what they were supposed to do next, Pedro and Ivana left to town, Samantha was more than happy to babysit the child. 

It was all so easy. It was all so good. 

Eventually he decided to head inside to check on Ellia. She said she was going to work on something and he had a feeling it had to do with the notes she’d been frantically typing into her data pad on the ship. Maybe it would be comforting to talk about something familiar. 

But this... this wasn’t any of those things. This was so, so much worse. 

“Ellia, what, what did you do,” Pershing stutters out, eyes unmoving. 

“I’m not entirely sure, I just know that well I was doing some research,” 

_He’s knocked out at least_. 

“So I decided to just do it, and as I was setting it up I was thinking,” 

_She couldn’t have thought this through_. 

“I know I should be guilty or scared or something but here it was,” 

_ She can’t they took that from her.  _

“So logically I knew I shouldn’t have but it was already here and I was already starting,” 

_ That’s not something she can feel.  _

“But I need your help if this is going to work.” 

“Ellia no, no you need to stop. You, you need to close him back up, we can end this now you haven’t started yet.” He tries, he tries to reason with her. But there’s not enough time for it to click. Every second he’s there they run out of time for the click. He can’t do it on his own. 

“I should feel bad. I know that. But I remembered what you told me, about the-“ 

“The radiation therapy but this,” he takes the most hesitant step forward and all he can see is red. It’s everywhere. He can’t survive a procedure like this. “This isn’t how you do that Ellia you have to close him up.” 

“No, Peri I know but it’s already done, and there’s nothing else I can do about that I need you to help me,” she reasons, as if it’s a perfectly normal thing. As if he can help. As if any of this was okay. 

“Ellia please.” 

_He’s going to die here_. 

_He is going to die here and it’s all my fault._

“Peri, Peri look at me,” he does, “he is already open and on this table, I have the tablets, but I can’t do this without your help. You don’t need to do anything but hold these, but I need you to help. If you don’t I won’t have enough time to do this and he will die.” 

_ Why .  _

“Peri.” He hasn’t heard her so serious and sure since they broke her. 

He takes another step forward. 

“There are gloves on the counter, put those on and then come take these so I can grab the first one,” she tells him. She says it as if he’s even listening anymore. What the hell is he supposed to do. 

_ He’s going to die _ . 

Pershing grabs the gloves, pulling them on and moving in to take the clamps that Ellia was holding. He’s moving but he isn’t thinking, he isn’t hearing or seeing any of it. 

_ What about Ivana? _

“Okay, I’m gonna grab the first one and place it, you just need to hold still.” He doesn’t hear it. 

That’s his heart. It’s right there in front of him. Still beating. But for how long. 

——— 

He hasn’t moved from his spot since they finished. Right outside the door, Pershing sits curled with his knees to his chest. His eyes look like a stuffed impression. Unmoving, lifeless, glazed over. The only difference is that they are so so afraid. 

He hears them before he sees them, Pedro’s laughter as the approach the safe house. And Ivana isn’t far behind, she’s the one who opens the door he can tell by her footsteps. They can’t see him yet. 

“That was the strangest experience of my life I never want to do that again,” Pedro groans, earning a soft laugh from the woman with him. 

“It could have been worse,” she assures him, followed by the sound of something thumping against the counter. “Just be glad we don’t have to do it again.” 

They can’t see him yet. He’s around the corner of the hallway, but he’s convinced that they might not be able to see him anyway. Nothing feels real anymore. Ellia hasn’t opened the door yet, which means she isn’t done. It isn’t over yet. 

“Peri, Sam, Chris, Ell we’re back!” Pedro calls into the house. 

“Actually I think Samantha was outside, I’ll go grab the others,” Ivana says, followed by an affirmative sound and Pedro’s sneakers across the floor. The door opens and it’s quiet again. No, not quiet, Ivana is humming and walking. 

She stops dead. “Peri, are you alright what-“ it’s only then he realizes he still has the gloves on. He’s still covered in her husband’s blood. “What happened while we were gone? You’re not hurt are you?” She tries to get a reaction, moves to see if there’s any sign of injury. Pershing can’t bring himself to look at anything but the floor. 

“I’m so so sorry,” he whispers finally, choking on a sob. 

“Peri what happened, where are the others.” 

“There wasn’t anything I could do I didn’t know what to do,” he mumbles, rambling on. Ivana stands up to try and check the other rooms, finding all of them empty and one of them locked. “God’s Ivana I’m so sorry this is my fault I should have done something. Something, anything, anything other than just letting it happen I, I-“ once the tears start he can’t stop them either, making it hard to breath. 

“Pershing what happened, tell me, where are Chris and Ellia,” she sounds so concerned, as if he’s the one who’s been hurt. As if he needs protecting. 

And then the door swings open, Ellia stepping out with a blank look on her face. Ivana jumps to her feet, but doesn’t get a chance to say anything before Ellia is moving. She shuts the door behind her, “he’s gonna be okay, oh stars no Peri don’t cry it’s okay, he’s alright you did great.” 

“Ellia What is going on,” Ivana had never sounded like that before. Demanding but  scared . 

“I fixed it don’t even worry about it,” Ellia assures, as if it would make any sense on it’s own. “I went in and dealt with the chips, he’s not sick anymore it’s alright.” 

“What-“ 

“No that’s not right, he won’t be sick in a few days. But he’ll be okay! It looks like he’ll make a full recovery too.” 

“What are you talking about what did you do.” 

And Pershing knows. He knows that sound. He’s heard it before, the terrified loved one with too many questions, but never in this context. 

“You can go in and see him if you want, he’ll probably wake up soon,” Ellia opens the door again, offering to let her in, “the bacta should help with the pain of the incision too, give him about a half hour before the pain goes away and he should be able to sit up no problem.” 

Pershing isn’t exactly sure what happens next. He stops focusing, stops being lucid at all. To be honest he may have fallen asleep or blacked out, all he remembers is feeling nauseous. When he comes to again it’s because of the door beside him opening again. He bolts to his feet, ready to face whoever it was and maybe get answers to some of his own questions. The rest of the house is empty. Silent. 

But it’s Chris, who looks like he’s going to fall over we’re it not for the door frame. “No no no, you should not be standing you’re gonna hurt yourself,” he tries to guide him back into the room but doesn’t get very far. 

He’s alive . 

“I need you to tell me something,” he says, voice low and groggy, “any reason why she would have done it. I need it to make sense.” 

Pershing knows that there’s nothing he can say that will ever make enough sense of it. He can never tell him what she was thinking as it happened. So he says the only thing he can, the one thing he truly knows about the situation. 

“The imperials got tired of disciplining her, they took to drastic measures.” His own voice is coarse and strained. It’s hard to listen to but he pushes through, still holding Chris up. “They quite literally went through her brain and cut out what was inconvenient for them. Part of that was what’s responsible for things like fear and guilt. It broke her. She, she didn’t have the parts that would tell her to  stop .” 

From the way that Chris reacts it’s not clear whether that helped at all. He just takes a deep breath and steps back. 

“I’m so sorry.” Pershing breathes, watching carefully for him to do anything at all. 

“Help me to the couch? I don’t want to go back in that room. I can’t.” 

“Of course.” 

He’s alive for now. 


End file.
